FAMILY

Feeling Lonely in a Family

What happens when we don’t remind our relatives that they’re never alone?

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

I smell cigarette smoke on my hand and think of my grandfather. He’s been dead for at least five years. I can see him standing at the door of his double-wide trailer, watching me pull out of the driveway. It was the last time I saw alive. He wasn’t working anymore. He wasn’t going anywhere. He stopped taking his blood pressure medicine. He was lonely.

A neighbor noticed my grandfather’s trash hadn’t been taken out, a punctual thing he performed. After knocking on the door, the neighbor found a window he could push through to get inside. My grandfather had had a heart attack.

I remember getting the phone call on a Saturday night. I was at a Sharon Van Etten concert with my wife and a friend. The call came from my grandfather’s sister, Aunt Geneva, another relative who I imagine is lonely.

Aunt Geneva lives in East Texas in a house she shared with her husband until he died. I had not seen her for several years until my grandfather’s funeral. We caught up, exchanged addresses, and I failed to reply to the Christmas cards she sent.

I should call my grandfather’s other relatives to see how Aunt Geneva is doing. Or, I could call her. What if…